I’m surprised, that the more I mature, the
more I think about my childhood. I wish I had known that those arduous growing
years, full of longing and aspirations, dreams and desires, wonderment and
haste, anger and pain, inspiration and perspiration, questioning and settling,
were going to turn into the most memorable years of my life. As I age and
continue to transition through adulthood, I realize that one’s childhood is
indeed the most impacting and determining phase of one’s life. It does not only
remain a reservoir of memories but a constant source of reference while treading
through new horizons, especially later in life. It’s as though you may venture
out in any direction but your childhood and all its components remain the anchor.
Especially, the darker moments have a more lasting and prominent place. Research
in cognitive psychology has established that by now, so, it’s no mystery!
As an adult myself, I now realize what one’s
immediate environment can do. It can either serve as a launching pad to propel
forward gloriously or a diffuser that limits you to rise. The support one’s
immediate family provides can go a long way in giving the strength and
conviction to do well, to believe in oneself, to be virtuous, and most
importantly to have a good value system that can guide one through. Whatever is
put out in the environment is absorbed. It is a fact that children don’t do as
they are told, but as they ‘see’.
How much one provides monetarily does not have as big a role
as we might think it does. Resources can only help in facilitating goals and
the meeting of wants, but it is the emotional strength that offers a much
richer, more sustaining foundation. It can give the strength and insight to
deal with any ordeal and embrace every little joy.
Although my childhood was quite a mixed bag,
full of adventure and many a shades of gray, it serves as a constant and
consistent source of inspiration. It’s a true friend of mine, for it doesn’t
only offer me insight as to what I must do, but often reminds me of what I
mustn’t engage in. It teaches me a continuing lesson of good and bad, and helps
me appreciate every bit of life. I was somewhat of a ‘parentified’ child
growing up (which I learnt later while studying psychology) and hence, the more
reserved and thoughtful one. But that is what helped me restrain and observe,
pause and absorb, and urged me to evaluate while the other children my age were
lost in the wonderland of being playful and carefree! That has had its
consequences of course and turned me into this reflective person. However, I take
it in my stride and with the risk of sounding boastful I have to share that I
learnt very early in life how to make the most out of a situation, how to use
every calamity or adversity to one’s advantage. I figured that requires a lot
of patience and strong will power, but that is what makes you resilient with
time. Today, I feel I have the inner strength to face anything that life may
offer, and that too with grace and balance and perhaps a positive outlook… And
yet, my childhood remains the most precious ‘time’ of my life thus far. In fact
some of my most treasured memories are of the time spent with my siblings! It
doesn’t seem to matter at all ‘what’ we did, but just the fact that we did it
together, silly or stupid, significant or not, just the ‘experiences’ and
‘adventures’.
And although, it is not good to live in the
past, it is essential to reflect and draw from it, the essence and beauty it
offered. Even the dark moments are tools for introspection and improvement such
that ‘mistakes’ are not repeated and that lessons are learnt. Our own childhood may not come back but
we can revive and relive it vicariously through our progeny, our nieces and
nephews!
I encourage all of you to remember how
important a role we can play in bringing up our children by just being
positive, conscientious, and genuinely engaged. The quality time, love, and
energy that we invest in them would reap the greatest rewards, the deepest joy.
Even though this may be hard at times because of many a responsibilities, we
must remember that for our children this is the most critical period, teacher,
and base to grow from, or indeed become/remain a source of sadness for the rest
of their lives. The best gift that we can ever give to a child is a ‘childhood’
indeed; for we all anyway have too long of an adulthood to deal with! So lets
invest in our children, love them, spend time with them and let them dream on. Lets
sow such seeds of strength that whenever they stumble, they have the power to
withstand any setback with courage and a fondness for a place called ‘home’ and
family, even when we are long gone…
Kamlika
Feb
22nd 2013
Chicago.
